Providence

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:25-34

I try to live my life without worrying too much about the details as I know God has a good plan for me. I know that whatever hurdles pop up along have already been figured out and planned for a specific purpose. Living without worry, however, is easier said than done. When Jack and I were struggling to become parents, we prayed hard and often for patience. While something I would never wish upon anyone else, dealing with infertility brought us closer to God and each other which in the end, I feel has better prepared us for parenthood. When I lost my job smack in the middle of the IVF process, I could do nothing else but laugh at the ridiculousness of the timing. Looking back, though, I see that the trying to get pregnant allowed me perspective to not freak out so much about losing my job. Being home the last 15 months also allowed me to focus on a healthy pregnancy and then raising my little boys. It has truly been a blessing.

I now face my next challenge -- I'm going back to work part-time. I am terrified. I am nervous. I am worried. In my head, I can see how God has worked this job out for me (it's part-time, makes financial sense, and is super flexible) but my heart is aching about leaving my boys three days a week. I am eager to look back on these next few weeks of transition with the same peace and understanding about God's magnificent plan as I have with the other challenges we have faced, but it's not easy. Worry comes easy. Trust is hard.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Giggles

I love the giggles. I don't think I'll ever get enough of these two clowns giggling. Lately it feels like I'm constantly chasing, constantly moving things higher, constantly picking up a child who konked his head, constantly trying to get them to sleep at the right time. Among these constants, however, I am constantly thankful for these babies -- for their smiles, for their cries, for their giggles. I am also extremely thankful for a successful surgery for my mom last week and for little baby Emelander who I hope to meet on Friday. Blessings abound!

UPDATE: Baby Emelander is here! Andrew Jack arrived Friday, August 13 at 11:35pm weighing 6lbs 5oz and almost 20in long! Congrats Chris & Julie -- he is BEAUTIFUL!

Double Trouble

Camp VanderLugt 2010

Camp VanderLugt 2010 is officially history. This year, our travels took us to a new cottage near Fremont at Crystal Lake. The cottage was huge, the weather was awesome, the water was warm (but a little sea-weedy), and the company was fantastic. We went tubing, made tie-dyed shirts and took a family picture, had lots of campfires, ate smores, and played lots of games with the kids. I would say fun was had by all ... except for maybe my boys. They were pretty much awful all week. For the month prior to the cottage, the boys had been sleeping quite consistently from 8pm to 7am (which was awesome). This, however, was not at all the case at the cottage. They were pretty much up on and off all night, every night ... which lead to crappy naps and crabby babies (and tired parents). Argh. We do have great pictures though from the happier moments. I think I mentioned this before (see Mytrle Beach post) but vacations just aren't the same with kids! :)

In other news, the boys are crazy crawling all over the place now. They chase after each other through the house and it's quite hilarious. They also both sit up on their own (finally) and pull themselves up to their feet on couches, people, etc. They even both climbed their first step (they love to play on our hard wooden steps/ floor -- needless to say, there have been a few head clunks). When I finally catch a good video, I'll be sure to post it!